This treatise have I made O sister Ikemefuna of the songs that you and singers of thine ancestry have sung from generations immemorial until now. Of the tone, melody and the instrumentals thereof, especially of thine gospel genre. Yea the lyrics of thy tracks I have had no objections. I stand in no doubt of the authenticity of the inspiration of thine songs, nay thy devotion and religion towards our God. I shall also salute thee for thine immense business and marketing skills of which thou hast excelled above all others of thine countrymen. For your songs are heard and talked about in all of Nigeria, indeed the world because I am convinced that Nigerians especially thine brethren are in every nation of the world. Insomuch that for the importunity of the occasion, thy song was played while passengers disembarked from a Nigerian airplane via a ladder of which I would talk about in the passing of time. Nevertheless I have few things about your music that I am persuaded should have improved through the passing of years. But thou slay me.
First, I have constantly heard a voice that sings along with thee as the lead singer always making you an unusual two lead vocalists. Whether it be alto or tenor the brother singeth, I know not. But there exists a voice among thine backup that shapest thine musick. My sister, that voice is too igbotic. I suppose that it is Brother Chinedu of which I know his devotion to the Lord and to thee. But I might counsel that he goes for some voice training. For when the musick comes out richer, rather than the usual monosynchronous tone, verily I say unto thee, thy musick gaineth much more acceptance and wider audience.
Secondly, I am tired of hearing the same beat from thine instrumentalists. And not only that, thou useth only one instrument. Keyboard. Kilode? Has thou not read in David the psalmist that thou should clash the cymbals, blow the trumpet and saxophone, play the strings harp and guitar, and beat the drums? From whence learneth thou thine one-instrument style when thou art not a solo musician? Kwa. Ike gi agwugo m. I have heard the petition of some angels who electrify this sanctuary and those of thine brethren- the saints (among whom is the messenger by whose hands thou read this). With bold letters I write, please diversify. For my people certainly need to hear something different from the usual four claps in quick succession -kpakpa-kpa—kpa- rhythm and the characteristic reggae beat. Art thou not have other rhythms? Learn from Michael Collins (thou knowest his nickname) concerning his diverse beats. And only his beats please. I forbid thee to copy the lyrics and turn it to gospel for my people. Dorocopy?
Lastly, concerning the repetition or tautology that I find in thy musick, I find distressing. Why dost thou break only one sentence into five? And with call-and-response. I heard recently of thine popular sister who sang of her great testimony, but did so in a countdown fashion from 1 to 15. These things ought not to be. As I said in the foregoing, I heard recently of the lyrics of one of thine songs in which thou commendeth my flock to “follow the ladder to heaven”. Hmmn, I would suppose that was an allegory. I heard it was that song that was sang at that airport in Bauchi sometime ago. Dost thou sayest our Saviour is like a ladder? That Jesus Christ is the way to eternal life? No doubt. Yea, I tell you much more. Forasmuch as our Lord cometh back a second time, I am convinced beyond doubt that He desires that His kingdom be established first here in our hearts. And I tell you yet another secret, He wants heaven on earth.
I have many things to write, but I will not with keyboard and mouse write unto thee. But I trust and look forward to thy next album in which I shall be in earnest of some changes. Make my joy full. All the Yoruba boys here greet thee. They wish not that thou leave Lagos. And they mean no harm. Greetings to the sisters which be with thee. Do not kiss one another (for we know of the temptations which exists in the brethren). Peace be to thee. Amen.
2 Replies to “Dear Sister Ikemefuna”
“To the church in “Lehgos”…
From myself, the servant of “Master Jesus””
Nice one Bro!
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Hahaha…. oh that too.😄😄